I will be going back to school tomorrow. This is my last semester of classes before I start student teaching, and I couldn't be more excited! I am only taking 13 hours of classes (my lightest semester since I started college), so I'm thinking I'll have a lot of time to post about...well, everything.
I started packing today...again. This is a strange place in life. I enjoy school, and I enjoy experiencing life on my own. I don't love packing up my entire life and moving it an hour down the road every few months. It's not hard work, but I always dread it. Living out of boxes when I'm at home, and knowing that I'll be moving out soon when I'm at school gives my whole life this sort of wishy-washy, temporary feel. I don't really care for that. I wouldn't call myself a planner, but I do like to know what's going on, and the constant moving things back and forth makes that a little difficult.
I'm not saying all of this to complain, really. I just always get a little thoughtful before I go back to school. College has been such a mixed bag for me. I met my fiance, and that has been an absolutely incredible journey. I'm about a million steps closer to being a teacher, and that's been an amazing ride too. On the other hand, it's not been all so sunshiney. This will be my sixth semester, and I've been assigned seven roommates. Do you see how that might conflict with my liking to know what's going on? Piggybacking on that...I still haven't found that one, great friend that everyone seems to find in college. I'm not lonesome, but I do think about it from time to time.
So when I weigh the good and the bad, I just feel kind of neutral about school. I really do like it, but it has this way of throwing me for a loop.
I'm doing my best to grow into the person God wants me to be, but all this wishy-washy business is making hard for me to find my niche. Even as I type that I know it's an excuse...I'll do better. The biggest step I can take in this direction is prayer. I'm working on this one. Some days I can be pretty long-winded, and that's okay. Other days, when I can't organize my thoughts, I just ask for grace, peace, and clarity.
There you have it. These are just the thoughts running around inside my head right now. It will all settle down when I get back into the rhythm of school. Until then I'll just keep asking for grace, peace, and clarity...don't we all need that anyway?
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