Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Wishy-Washy

    I will be going back to school tomorrow.  This is my last semester of classes before I start student teaching, and I couldn't be more excited!  I am only taking 13 hours of classes (my lightest semester since I started college), so I'm thinking I'll have a lot of time to post about...well, everything. 
    I started packing today...again.  This is a strange place in life.  I enjoy school, and I enjoy experiencing life on my own.  I don't love packing up my entire life and moving it an hour down the road every few months.  It's not hard work, but I always dread it.  Living out of boxes when I'm at home, and knowing that I'll be moving out soon when I'm at school gives my whole life this sort of wishy-washy, temporary feel.  I don't really care for that.  I wouldn't call myself a planner, but I do like to know what's going on, and the constant moving things back and forth makes that a little difficult.
    I'm not saying all of this to complain, really.  I just always get a little thoughtful before I go back to school.  College has been such a mixed bag for me.  I met my fiance, and that has been an absolutely incredible journey.  I'm about a million steps closer to being a teacher, and that's been an amazing ride too.  On the other hand, it's not been all so sunshiney.  This will be my sixth semester, and I've been assigned seven roommates.  Do you see how that might conflict with my liking to know what's going on?  Piggybacking on that...I still haven't found that one, great friend that everyone seems to find in college.  I'm not lonesome, but I do think about it from time to time. 
    So when I weigh the good and the bad, I just feel kind of neutral about school.  I really do like it, but it has this way of throwing me for a loop.
    I'm doing my best to grow into the person God wants me to be, but all this wishy-washy business is making hard for me to find my niche.  Even as I type that I know it's an excuse...I'll do better.  The biggest step I can take in this direction is prayer.  I'm working on this one.  Some days I can be pretty long-winded, and that's okay.  Other days, when I can't organize my thoughts, I just ask for grace, peace, and clarity. 
   There you have it.  These are just the thoughts running around inside my head right now.  It will all settle down when I get back into the rhythm of school.  Until then I'll just keep asking for grace, peace, and clarity...don't we all need that anyway?

Allyson



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10 comments:

Mrs. Darcy said...

Thanks for the sweet comment on my blog. I am your newest follower!

Have you joined any organizations in college? That is where I met some of my closest friends. Also, good luck with student teaching. I had an amazing experience and I hope you do too:)

aspiretoinspire

Allyson said...

Thank you for stopping by! I am so excited to student teach - I think it's going to be my favorite part!

Allyson
http://cupcakescandycanes.blogspot.com

The Three Sweet Peas said...

Allyson, Good Luck. Life is never what we plan it to be, I have learned that over and over! :) Thank you for blessing the lives of our children and persevering. Good Luck and one thing that I ALWAYS think about and it keeps me going is this. Faith and Doubt cannot exist together. You have faith, get rid of the doubt, everything will work out! :) XOXO Stacie

Allyson said...

Thank you for your encouragement! I'm such an overthinker...maybe I should stop writing at 11:00 at night.

Allyson
http://cupcakescandycanes.blogspot.com

Sherry said...

Allyson, thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving some comments! I really do love hearing from readers and appreciate each and every point of view. Stick around and you will see much more! I enjoyed reading your most recent post and felt a great comeraderie with you. It cannot be easy going back and forth and not having a real space of your own. It sounds like you have a genuine faith and that will get you through! I am amazed when I look back at some of my greatest struggles and see how it all worked out. Keep praying, long winded or short and to the point!!!

Allyson said...

Thank you so much for your comment! I really appreciated each word of encouragement. I loved your blog and will definitely be by more often.

Allyson
http://cupcakescandycanes.blogspot.com

sweet southern drawl said...

Hi! How are ya? I wish I could be of a little help here, but when I was in college, I had a 2 year old. HaHa!

Hope your having a great week! xoxo

Allyson said...

Thank you for coming by my blog! I hope you'll stick around!

Allyson
http://cupcakescandycanes.blogspot.com

Rachae and Janelle said...

I always hated packing up to leave. To me college was ok, but it never felt like a home. I loved packing to come home, and even though I had fun in college I never really looked forward to going.
www.howtofallinloveeveryday.blogspot.com

Allyson said...

Thank you for the sweet comment! That is what I was trying to get across; thank you for understanding. I'm loving your blog, too!

Allyson